


The Tears of Jurate

by Saku777



Category: Hetalia: Axis Powers
Genre: F/M, Historical Hetalia, Mention of Russia, allusion to current events, mention of poland
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-08-14
Updated: 2018-08-14
Packaged: 2019-06-27 05:12:37
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,083
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15678714
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Saku777/pseuds/Saku777
Summary: A fic for LietBel week 2018 - prompt amber day 2I used the prompt to examine and explore their relationship though the yearsThey grow beside one another like two trees entangled together, both different and alike and despite all suffering endured and enduring they’ve remained in each other’s histories like the amber tears of the sea-goddess remaining in the baltic sea.





	The Tears of Jurate

The Duchy of Lithuania

Sometime during the year 1243, soon after he took over Polotsk and while she was still resentful and angry, the Duchy of Lithuania took Polotsk aside and suggested going on an outing with him. Polotsk crossed her small thin arms and stared at him, then turned away silently. He repeated his invitation and said, “We could even go all the way to the sea.”

Polotsk only muttered, “Go away you bastard, I don’t want to.” In her view he had taken her independence and helped end her time of freedom and glory. However that was only partly true, and the glorious 11th century of her past was long gone even before him. Still, in her anger and hurt she refused to see that and was only looking for someone to blame.

She bit her lip and clenched her fists, continuing to look away from him as the Duchy looked sadly at her, crestfallen. He did not think he had been so harsh, and in his view he was only helping her. Besides, she had ruled over him before so it was only fair now. However Polotsk was a proud creature and did not suffer such things lightly.

“Are you going to stand there forever?” he asked.

“Maybe,” she muttered again.

There was more silence, broken only by lonely birds crying in the distance and as they did he sadly looked at the stones of amber he had wanted to give her, found a few hours ago on the shores of the Baltic sea.

-

Time mellowed many wounds and Polotsk found she had more power ad freedom than she thought she would have after becoming part of the Duchy. It was not the same as being independent, nor was it the same as the days of her beloved Vseslav, but she enjoyed the amount of influence she had in the court. She also enjoyed that Ruthenian was spoken and written by so many, even the Duchy himself. She found too that while he was sometimes annoying, he could also be very kind and so her feelings osculated from resentment and anger to tender feelings of affection she did not quite understand.

One day years later they were both sitting along the shores of the Baltic watching the waves lap in and out of the shoreline. All was silent as the gentle breeze blew her flaxen hair and his wood-brown locks, ruffling them slightly. White clouds moved lazily across the sky and birds flew before them. Only the sound of the waves broke the stillness of the moment as they both took in one another’s company, the Duchy and Polotsk.

“I don’t know how the hell you managed to make me come out here with you,” she grumbled, but there was no malice in her words.

Lithuania merely smiled at her and said, “But it’s good that you did.” There was more silence, then he carefully and gently placed some stones of amber in her small hands. She looked at them for a moment and then held them up to the sun, making them like flame solidified.

“They’re pretty like you. I found them on the shore washed up by the sea, they say that they’re tears of Jūratė weeping for her lost love. I wanted to give them to you a long time ago.” She said nothing but contained to look at the amber, then gathered the stones up in her apron and began humming. Lithuania smiled once more, content. For a moment in time, she too was happy.

The Polish-Lithuanian Commonwealth, early 1700′s

She never came to the Baltic these days, but merely stayed inland. It had been a long time since she had seen those small stones of amber. Now they were shoved in a box stored under her bed. Instead she was sitting in flat fields of rye in the east staring at the sky as white storks flew overhead. Suddenly she heard a step and she turned her head rapidly to look for the source. It was Lithuania and a wan smile was on his pale but youthful face.

She scoffed and said, “What the fuck are you doing here? Lonely since that bastard Poland is away?”

His smile faded and he said, “Yes, I mean no. I mean…what I mean is…I simply wondered where you were.” He shrugged his shoulders, looking slightly deflated, but went over to her side. She did not move.

“When he comes back, you’ll forget me again. Not that I give a shit, I might be a peasant but I’d rather be a peasant any day than spend on more minute in that stupid Polish speaking court. I’m fine on my own.”

“I-” he did not know what to say though, and his words halted. The silence was present again, he hated it, she expected it. “I-I wanted to give this to you. It’s mine but I thought it might suit you better,” and as he spoke he held out a necklace made of amber.

She stared at it, then at him, then back at the necklace again. “Keep your shitty necklace. You’re fucking wrong, it doesn’t and never will suit anyone like me. Nothing will change and I don’t matter, you helped him take so much from me. That stupid necklace is a worthless replacement.” With that she walked off into the distance, anger and rage stirring in her heart. Lithuania meanwhile was left crestfallen, with the necklace dangling by his side.

The Russian Empire, early 1800′s.

Things did change however and Poland was no longer in their lives after a time. Instead it was just the two of them, and Russia of course. This was something Lithuania resented far more than she did. Her feelings on the matter were much more ambiguous and muted. It was something he did not understand and it angered him. On the other hand she didn’t care if he understood or not, it was her own affair. Not his. 

Russia made sure they saw little of each other as well and while she accepted this he did not, and made pains to see her secretly when he could, though he could never quite tell if she would tell on him or not. To her credit she never did. One such excursion however gave him a surprise that was both unpleasant and pleasant.

She was a simple rustic girl who often dressed in the dress of peasants and kept the countryside around her and her people, but that day he found her adorned with a beautiful dress of deep blue, one of the same fashionable European kinds the Moscow or St Petersburg court ladies wore. She was lovely and his heart beat furiously, but he still did not understand why she was dressed like this.

He knocked on her window and whispered, “What are you wearing?” She gave him a venomous glare but he went on talking, “I mean you look lovely…it’s just so unexpected.”

She scoffed, but did not tell him to leave, she did not know why. “Vanya has told me to go to one of his balls…in Piter, so I shall. He’ll be here any minute you bastard, leave if you know what’s good for you.”

“But-”’

She wasn’t listening, instead she was going though her belongings in a frenzied hurry and growing in frustration at each moment. “Fuck, I can’t find any jewelry. shit!”

Lithuania managed to hear her and at that moment thanked his foresight, for he had brought the necklace once more just to see if time had softened her as it had before. “I still have this, I’ll let you wear it.” he said, holding up the amber necklace. By now he was in her room, sitting on the window ledge.

“Get out! Vanya will-” and at that moment there was a heavy knock on her door.

“Natasha, are you decent?” It was Russia.

She quickly glanced at it, then at Lithuania and the necklace, and snatching it from him she said, “In a moment Vanya.” She turned again to tell Lithuania to leave but he had already gone as if he were one of the spirits of the forests themselves. She looked sadly out the window for a moment, but then carefully put the necklace on and said, “I’m ready now.”

In St Petersburg at the Winter Palace she wandered it’s gilded halls and came across the amber room, which an annoying man had given her brother almost a century ago, and she thought of her own annoying man. Amber was in his blood and whenever she saw it she thought of him and his wild wolf heart. Her own heart felt a pang of pain, but she said and showed nothing. she simply felt it in silence.

The Lithuanian-Byelorussian Soviet Socialist Republic or Litbel, 1919

Their wedding was not Catholic, it was not Orthodox. It was a state wedding,for religion was not allowed in this new world order, but both believed anyways keeping God secret in their hearts. In that moment despite all the pain and suffering they were going experiencing Lithuania thanked him as he slipped an amber ring on Belarus’s long and bony finger.

Meanwhile she asked God why, despite knowing there might be no response. He had suffered and so did she now, he had asked his own Father to be spared and he was not. Why should she expect better?

She was angry, she did not want to be married to him, she did not want herself consumed once more after she had suffered so much to be her own state. There was little she could do however, even Russia had allowed it to be and he had never been fond of Lithuania’s advances towards her.

Late at night as she lay beside him in the dark she looked at the ring on her finger, stroking it and feeling the smooth golden stone. She liked it, it felt nice and calming to touch, and so she did it again and again. As she did so she thought how nothing she liked or wanted really mattered and it had never mattered, not now, not ever. She was always at the whims of someone else, always thrown about, subject to their desires ad there was nothing she could do about it. All she had to do was to survive the best way she knew how. Yet even now as she looked at the amber she still did not hate Lithuania. Instead inside her heart was this mix of bitter resentment and tender affection. She hated it. It would have been far far easier if she had hated him.

The Lithuanian Soviet Socialist Republic and the Byelorussian Soviet Socialist Republic 1953

After coming back from Siberia Lithuania soon met Belarus in the woods in his own homeland. “What are you doing here?”

“None of your damn business, you shit,” she snarled, her pale thin face glaring at him with eyes ringed with dark circles. He didn’t look much better himself for that matter, but he couldn’t help his concern.

She didn’t say it, not even to herself, but she had been concerned as well, and was happy to see him back. However the years had been filled with horrors, forgetting, and repression. She no longer knew her own self, or her own heart anymore, and could not really say why she was here. It bothered her.

“I just wondered….it’s nice to see you again Natasha.” She did not rebuke him for using her diminutive but said nothing in return.

He smiled sadly and then she whispered, “He’s dead now.”

He could not tell if she was happy or horrified or both at Stalin’s death but he did not dare find out. She couldn’t tell herself either. Then he noticed her bandaged hands and for the first time, he didn’t know why he hadn’t noticed before, he noticed she no longer wore her amber wedding ring. They had only been married a few months years ago, but still his heart felt sorrow and his stomach felt sick. He did not know she had not thrown it away though. It was hidden, lying in the forest, protected by the trees that belonged to them.

The Republic of Belarus and the Republic of Lithuania 1991

Everything had been moving so quickly, however despite that he was still surprised when he saw Belarus lugging a suitcase behind her, clearly heading towards the nearest airport.

“Natasha!” he called out and went up to her. “I’ve been so busy lately I haven’t had time to see you. So much has been happening, it’s wonderful,” he said as a smile graced his usually melancholy face.

She did not smile however, her mood was unreadable. She simply said, “You’re right, so much shit is changing it’s hard to keep one’s head and now…now I’m on my own, for the first time I can truly say I’m on my own.”

Lithuania noticed that she looked almost lost, unsure, and even a little frightened, but he still said, “I know, isn’t it wonderful? We can both finally-”

“I’m leaving,” she said.

There was a silence between them both after she spoke as they started into one another’s eyes. Lithuania was the first to break it saying, “What? Where? Why?”

“America, where everyone goes to start fresh. It’s better this way, I’m no good to him and he’s no good to me. I see that now.” Despite her words and her impassive face there was a pain in her heart however, she did not want those facts to be so, yet they were and there was nothing she could do about it.

There was another heavy silence and Lithuania ended it once more. He took her scarred hands and she did not refuse him, nor did she try to break his fingers this time. “I’m so happy for you Natasha. We’ll both work hard to make things better, yes? This can be a new start for us both.” There was also a forbidden hope in his heart, that perhaps he had another chance with her, but that was for later. They needed to focus on themselves now. “When you come back please see me. I’ll be right here waiting.”

She did not refuse or assent but merely said a noncommittal, “Hm.”

“Oh! I want to give you this too. I wanted to give it to you the day the union ended but I thought it’d be better to wait so I just held onto it.” He slipped a bracelet made of amber into her thin pallid hand and she took it, placing it on her wrist. His heart felt joy at that and there was a certain kind of pride at seeing her wear it.

Then she merely said, “I must go now,” and left, vanishing from his sight as if she had never existed at all.

1995 Lukashenko becomes president of Belarus 

The next time he saw her again was four years later and again much had changed. In appearance she was the same, still freshly 19. However she was not wearing the amber bracelet, nor the necklace, still lying in her home, nor the ring, still buried in the forest. She was also not really dressed as a westerner, still favoring her long and frilly skirts, but Lithuania thought she looked beautiful that way.

“Natasha!” he called out, smiling at her. She quickly turned her head to look at him, but then kept walking. Lithuania frowned and then went up to her. “I didn’t know you were back.”

She scoffed, “Tch, I know.”

He continued to walk beside her. “How was America? You were there for about five years after all. I’ve missed you.” She stared again and merely mumbled, “A shitty sham, I was sorely disappointed. Then again I’m not even sure what the fuck I was expecting.”

He paused. surprised at her words. “Oh. I’m sorry.” There was more silence and then he said, “Are you going back home?”

She nodded and said, “To see my new boss, Alexander Lukashenko and there I shall remain, where I belong. After that I shall see my dear Vanya, I have been so needlessly cruel to him.” Little did Lithuania know that old feelings were re-awkeneing in Belarus yet again.

Her words filled him with a nauseous feeling in the pit of his stomach which began to hurt and he angrily said, “Didn’t you say you were better off without him? Didn’t you learn? What happened to you?”

At that Belarus turned around sharply and glared at him “Exactly you bastard. You have no real idea of who I am and what the fuck I think so quit assuming shit for me! What the fuck is there to learn?! Only that the west is filled with lies and can only disappoint, only that it’s all untrue. How the fuck can I be better off without him?! He’s my fellow Slav, my heart burns, he’s right next to me! So just shut the fuck up and leave me be!” She quickly walked away after that, leaving him stunned and finally noticing she no longer wore the amber bracelet he gave her.

modern day 

Things between them were still strange and uneasy for various reasons, however perhaps it had been that way for one reason or another for a very long long time.

Lithuania hated her love for Russia and how she seemingly obeyed her boss. She hated his seeming need to ‘save’ her as well as his criticism of her. She also hated the strange feelings she had in her heart for him, feelings she had never truly examined. It was why she had never thrown out the wedding ring but buried it in a forest between their borders, it was why she had stowed away the bracelet and necklace, never returning them as she would have if she wholly hated him. It was why, after all these centuries and all these years she still, in a worn out bag grown old with time, kept the little stones of amber he had given her long ago when they were both children by the Baltic sea.

Even now from time to time she took it out and looked at them, playing with the stones in her hands and looking at the sun light them up, making solid fire once more as she sat there mingling memory with forgetfulness.

**Author's Note:**

> In the year 1240 the Duchy of Lithuania took over the principality of Polotsk, a slavic principality located around modern day Belarus. However despite that it had some autonomy until 1390. The greatest leader of Polotsk was Vseslav the Sorcerer who ruled for 57 years.
> 
> In the Duchy the slavic tongue of Ruthenian was used in official documents and in the court for some time only to be replaced by Polish after the Polish-Lithuanian commonwealth. After the commonwealth many Ruthenian nobles also became Polonized and either saw themselves as Polish or Lithuanian while the peasantry remained most in touch with their slavic roots. 
> 
> Jurate was a Lithuanian goddess of the sea, the duchy remained pagan until the year when it became Roman Catholic.
> 
> The lands of modern day Belarus were incorporated into Russia after the first partition of Poland in 1793. Lithuania became part of the empire after the third partition. Much of the peasantry continued to live their lives unchanged until the late 1800s when national consciousness began to arise among the more middle class folk.
> 
> The Lithuanian-Byelorussian Soviet Socialist Republic was a merger of two states that only lasted a few months in 1919 under the USSR. It ended after Poland took over eastern Lithuania in the Polish-Soviet war. The Belarusians resented the merger and saw it as annexation. 
> 
> During Stalin's rule many Lithuanians and Belarusians suffered from the persecution and purges and many Lithuanians were exiled to Sibera, many only returning after Stalin's death in 1953. Despite his terror however some of the people in the union were devastated at his death and openly wept. There's a anecdote where a soviet official's wife who had been imprisoned and tortured by Stalin wept and grieved when she was finally released and heard he was dead. 
> 
> After the end of the union there was a very brief period of liberalization and looking towards the west for Belarus which lasted until 1995 when Alexander Lukashenko was elected. Afterwards Belarus began to become more dependent on Russia once more and allying itself with them. Relations with Lithuania at the moment are both close and complicated with both cooperation and spats occurring at times.


End file.
